Skip to content

Exposed… but not physically.

April 29, 2010

So, I’ve been trying to gather the courage to talk about this here.

I’ve hinted here that I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). A few weeks ago I went to a psychiatrist for the first time to be properly diagnosed and whatnot. I went and we talked for more than an hour about my life. And I mean my whole life. Bizarre. But good, that someone actually listened.
And yes, I do have ADD. But what the doctor said was “So there are several issues here..” and he started talking about depression.

Yeah. Depression.

I’m going to be totally honest here and explain why I was surprised. I mean, I know I’m “depressed” sometimes and that I have issues and that I’m not exactly an happy-go-lucky kind of person. I’m just not. Never was.
When I thought about someone with depression, I honestly didn’t think about myself. I’m not exactly a “poster child” for depression, that’s what I mean. I laugh, I make jokes, I have an awesome sense of humor, I talk to people, I hang out with my friends, etc. So, even though I’m in this almost constant tortured state of mind, I just figured this was me. This is who I am, a tortured person. With good things and some (very) bad things too.

And it was strange. When the doctor said that.. I was relieved. Weird right? But true. I was relieved because I found out that no, I’m not supposed to be this way. I’m not supposed to feel so sad and anxious about everything in my life. And I can do something about it. Oh, I’m aware that this isn’t something that just goes away… but now I know. It’s here and we’re dealing with it. I’m on medication now and I don’t know if it’s working yet, honestly. In a couple of weeks I’m going to the doctor again and we’ll see how things are going then.

I don’t know why I chose to share this here. I mean, this is a healthy living blog, it’s not just about food and the gym. Life has many layers, good and bad. And also, I think it’s because it may help someone out there decide that it’s time to go to the doctor. Or it may help someone else finally realizing that maybe that friend/family member/whatever isn’t just “sad” and there may be more to it than that. I don’t know. It’s just good to come clean. It’s kind of a taboo and it shouldn’t be.
So now that I’ve shared that, I’m sharing this:

Just smile.

About these ads
19 Comments leave one →
  1. April 29, 2010 2:47 pm

    First of all, your pictures are so cute. :) Thanks for sharing them.

    And thanks for sharing about the depression and ADD. I’m sure you remember that I’ve been dealing with depression too. I definitely understand feeling relieved when you realize there’s a reason why you’re feeling this way. It’s great that the doctor helped you. I hope the meds make a big difference for you!

  2. eatgoodstuff permalink
    April 29, 2010 2:55 pm

    You are very brave for sharing that.
    I’ve been there too. Just know that you have people around you who love you and will help you if you need anything.
    Keep rocking girl :)

  3. April 29, 2010 3:02 pm

    My goodness, just when I thought I couldn’t like you more, you go and post about something like this. GOOD FOR YOU! Your honesty is refreshing. We all battle with ourselves on a daily basis and for most people it goes deeper than what they are willing to deal with. You’re dealing with it and I think that is beautiful. :)

    I’ve dealt with depression (panic attacks) on and off throughout my life. I’ve never received treatment or had therapy. I just thought of it as a part of life. Or work stress. Or hate of my physical appearance, etc… I still don’t know if it goes deeper but I do know that right now I feel good, on most days. I’m just taking it one day at a time. Sucking in all of this precious thing we call “life”. You even catch me smiling, most of the time.

    XOXO

  4. Taysa (Water, Butter and Wine) permalink
    April 29, 2010 3:17 pm

    Thank you for sharing that! Sometimes I read blogs and I think, “How can this person be so damn happy?” It’s nice to hear someone say that life does have many layers, good and bad.

    I know it feels like a taboo, but it shouldn’t be. My boyfriend was diagnosed with ADD a year ago. It was a big step for him and in a way a relief too, because sometimes he feels like other people just look at him as being “crazy” or “emotional.” At the time we bought a couple books on adult ADD and reading them helped me to understand some of his feelings a bit better. He’s changed medications a couple times since then but I think he’s on a good one now. If anything, he wishes he hadn’t waited so long (he’s in his thirties) to seek treatment. It’s great that you’ve taken that step already! You rock!

  5. April 29, 2010 5:55 pm

    Hey pretty lady- thanks for sharing this with us! I do believe everyone is different- but jsut wanted to say be careful with medication. I was on Prozac (antidepressant) for a year and it completely changed my personality. It made me really cold and not want to be touched or feel emotions. And this was something I loved about myself before- that I was really open/warm. You might want to look into alternative medicine- I know for me finding something I was passionate about and yoga helped me kick my depression.

    Good luck!

    xo

    Jocelyn

  6. April 29, 2010 11:03 pm

    Thanks for being so honest! I actually work in the mental health field so it’s always great to hear about other people’s perspectives and experiences!

  7. April 30, 2010 1:10 am

    I think it’s amazing that you’ve shared this! I think it makes total sense that you felt a sense of relief, and things can only get better from here! I personally think it’s awesome that you’re being so honest and upfront about this issue because our society definitely still has a stigma toward mental illness, which I think is absolutely ridiculous! You are helping to break that stigma by being so candid, which is a wonderful thing! :)

  8. April 30, 2010 1:55 am

    Thank you for opening up and sharing this very personal story. I know that your sharing will inspire other people.

    We all have issues that we struggle with, we just sometimes want to hold them in private. Thanks again.

  9. April 30, 2010 3:23 am

    I think many people have depression, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It is so comforting to put a name behind feelings, sometimes. I think honesty is a beautiful thing, and we in the blog world are here to support you!

  10. April 30, 2010 6:06 pm

    Thanks for sharing.

    I think that blogging makes it easy to edit your life (or how others see it, anyway). It takes a lot of courage to open up about something like this and I think will help others too. I’ve been dealing with some emotional things lately and have been on the fence about discussing them on my blog for fear of discouraging readers looking for some sort of inspiration. Reading this made me realize that it would probably do the opposite.

    I’m so glad you’re seeking help. That’s such a difficult step to take.

    PS: YOU ARE ADORABLE.

  11. April 30, 2010 7:47 pm

    i love this post and i love that you aren’t holding anything back your honesty and genuine nature is so refreshing!!!

    and yes, you are so freaking cute ;)

  12. May 3, 2010 1:27 am

    your honesty is wonderful! i’ve definitely suffered from depression, as have many many many people i know. you’d be surprised how many! i guess b/c my in-laws are both shrinks it isn’t very taboo….

  13. May 3, 2010 3:24 am

    You are spectacular. Thank you for your honesty, I wish you all the best on your journey to health. xo

  14. May 3, 2010 1:10 pm

    Thank you for sharing this Diana! I am sure that it took a lot of courage to post this.
    I can relate to a point – I was pretty depressed too when I was younger though I’m not sure if I actually had depression.. if that makes any sense. It’s great that you talked to a doctor about it and can start to “work” on it. Guess I’ll never be a happy-go-lucky person either but life is so much better now that I try to be positive about everything. :)
    Take care hun!

  15. May 6, 2010 1:39 am

    Your pictures are adorable :) You remind me of a dark haired Hayley Williams, the lead singer of paramore. I think it’s so refreshing that you’ve chosen to view having depression as somethig you know you have an you can deal with it. Kudos to you for sharing, too! Healthy living blogs are about how to make your life healthier, and talking about this for sure is making yours healthier, I think :)

    I have a friend that growing up was my best friend and she has depression as well…she just decides not to do anything about it and wants to drag the world down so far, it’s frustrating sometimes. We aren’t that close anymore, we’re still friends, but seeing her life from an outside perspective makes me really wish she would take your point of view on it.

  16. May 7, 2010 2:23 am

    I hope that it all works out for you, now that you have been diagnosed and are getting some treatment. x

    (You know what, sometimes I wonder about myself too!)

  17. May 9, 2010 10:47 am

    I am just now catching up but wanted to say that I think it is awesome that you wrote about this. I have been through depression many times in my life and know how hard it is to “come out of the closet” with it. But you are right, this is a real part of life and a part of life that people need to be aware of. So, good luck to you in getting healthy, you can totally beat it.

  18. May 9, 2010 5:50 pm

    Depression shouldn’t be taboo and people shouldn’t have to live through it. I’ve been on medicine for it before. Wait it out a bit, it takes a while to kick in.

Trackbacks

  1. I love LX. « Healthy Diana

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: